Should you have opposite-sex friends in your marriage?
The do’s and don’ts for opposite-sex friendships
As a rule of thumb and in my opinion, I don’t suggest it, but I will give reasons why and why not along with very specific criteria you should have, or utilize if you still have certain opposite sex friends you still maintain friendships with.
The don’ts
If you have a new marriage as in you’re a newlywed couple, I would definitely not suggest any new opposite-sex friends especially single ones !, simply because you need time to build a foundation with your new spouse and that time should be devoted to your spouse. If you have had previous opposite-sex friends, those friendships need to be very limited and your spouse should know who they are and have at least formerly met them. The reason being is, these types of friendships can cause jealousy in the marriage, whether or not you’re doing anything that is unacceptable, its just the mere perception of it.
Another reason would be that there will be times when you and your spouse may have gotten into disagreements and arguments or may feel the urge to talk to the opposite sex friend explicitly about things going on in your marriage. This is a huge no-no and can cause instant arguments along with jealousy and insecurity between you and your spouse. You absolutely should not have any contact with or communication with any ex’s or anyone whom you may have had a previous romantic past with in any way.
The do’s
For married couples, even those engaged, and because I do feel fellowship and friendships are important, I would recommend getting around and interacting with other married couples who share similar interests. ( single person simply cannot understand or relate to a married person’s relationship dynamic.) This could mean other couples whom you may meet or know from church, you met at various events or perhaps met from work. Preferably couples that you both can mentor each other and hold each other accountable. Things like double dating or group dating with other married couples is an ideal situation. Husbands should be able to support one another and give each other advice on being a better husband, the same for wives.
Some potentials pitfalls to watch out for and things to be mindful of
- Be mindful of co-worker relationships and that you keep marriage boundaries in play at all times
- Be careful that you are not being flirtatious
- Make sure coworkers and everyone else knows that you are married(wearing your wedding ring)
- Under no circumstance should keep any open communication or friendships with an ex
- If you do maintain friendships with opposite sex, your spouse should not feel threatened by them, if they do it’s a legit concern and you may need to cut that friendship off if it threatens your marriage.