The Top 5 marriage problems and how to resolve them

(PERSONAL STORY)

What are the top 5 marriage problems

Selfishness

Selfishness affects marriage and manifests itself in many ways. It could be as big, as withholding love, sex, affection and or attention from your spouse, to merely always wanting certain things your way: Resolve: – Try to put yourself in your spouse’s position when it comes to their feelings and emotions(how would you feel if you needed or lacked what they wanted?) Always look for compromise, realize that you won’t always think alike but it’s more important to think together. Always include and consider your spouse with and in major decisions. Remember that marriage is about serving in love without compulsion

Lack of emotional intimacy

Lack of emotional intimacy primarily happens with a wife, however, it can happen with husbands as well, in this case, the husband maybe not spending enough time with her or he is putting other activities before her and before the marriage. The problem with lack of emotional intimacy especially for a woman is that it can lead to a disconnect from physical or/and sexual intimacy which is extremely important to husbands hence leading to a disconnect between both: Resolve: Especially husbands, pay attention to your wives emotional needs, spend uninterrupted quality time with her.  Wives the same goes for you, men also have feelings, want to feel wanted and needed.

Disconnect from physical and sexual intimacy

This happens usually when a wife disconnects from her husband emotionally first,  if not health-related, sexual intimacy issues are almost always linked to bigger problems going on in the marriage.  Commonly it starts from a disconnect with emotional intimacy. Resolve:  husbands and wives you both need to work on, talk about the bigger issues plaguing the marriage, however, do not withhold sex because that will only make things worse.  Even if bigger problems can’t be solved, at least agree to disagree and then map out a time to talk about it, instead of spilling over into sexual intimacy and other areas.

No communication and Miscommunication

No communication can happen if one or both are extremely angry, if one or both doesn’t really know how to express their feelings, or if either person feels like they will be put into a judgement zone by saying how they feel.  Miscommunication is usually the result of one spouse not properly receiving what the other is saying or, whatever is being said is done so, with a less than pleasant attitude. Resolve: When it comes to no communication, allow your spouse or mate the time to explain why they feel the way they do. Don’t judge them by why they feel the way they do, this will help them to feel safe and secure with sharing more sensitive issues with you. This, in turn, will help you both to understand more what the other needs or lacks. For miscommunication don’t cut one another off and allow each other adequate time to talk or explain your side of things. Be aware of your attitude, facial and body gestures, sometimes looking mean, or careless can send the wrong or conflicting message in and of itself.

Unable to handle conflict properly

Handling conflict is a skill, and definitely can happen due to lack of how to communicate amongst other things, including over-talking each other, arguments leading to name calling, attacks on character, bringing up past events etc.  Resolve: Some tips on this would be to, focus on solutions to the problem, if its merely a disagreement find areas of compromises or the things you actually agree on and then disagree on those things less important. Remember that the end goal of arguments and conflict are not about trying to prove who is right, but actually trying to understand your spouse’s point of view thus bringing a peaceful solution