Preventing affairs/adultery in your marriage
Accountability for affairs is always on the spouse who commits the affair
It absolutely goes without saying adultery could easily be the #1 reason for divorce
and rightfully so. it can by far it can destroy any marriage. Now ironic as it may seem with the topic let me start out by saying that, you cannot control your spouse’s actions, meaning
you can’t prevent your spouse or anyone from cheating or having an affair if that is what they ultimately decide to do. Yes, it is 100% the offending spouses’ fault, regardless of what they may or may not be getting from the marriage. Now with that being said, we are going to look at some reasons or triggers for why people commit affairs.
Top reasons marital affairs happen
- Lack of Sex (this is almost always connected to deeper issues in the marriage)
- Emotional disconnect (Usually with wives but husbands can feel it too)
- Physical dissatisfaction( this could be related to weight gain, hygiene issues
- Lack of Affection
- Spending time with others, more than spouse – especially opposite sex friends associates or co-workers
- Spending less quality time together – doesn’t do any activities together
Lack of sex or sex feels like more of a chore than a joy!
Bet your bottom dollar this is the #1 answer !. I could take this post into many other directions
But will try to summarize this as best as possible. Sex is absolutely one of the most important ingredients for any marriage, it’s just not about reaching a physical climax yall(but that’s important too especially for a wife while for husbands, the frequency of sex tends to be more important) not only that but sex bonds you together on a spiritual mental and emotional level all at once.. This is how GOD designed it. So quick pointers
- Do not withhold sex from each other unless extenuating circumstances prevail (this is actually biblical read 1 Corinthians 7:3 – 5
- If deeper issues are at play, deal with the issues and find a time to discuss them but don’t withhold sex from your spouse
- Remember that your spouse is biblically and legally the only person that can meet your sexual needs(hence preventing them from going outside their marriage to get it)
Husbands this is more prevalent with wives, so you will need to come out of your comfort zone to stay connected with her emotions, it doesn’t make you less of a man for doing so. That connection with her will make the sex all the more pleasing for you! Also, keep mind that when women cheat they have pretty much left the marriage/relationship emotionally because it takes a whole lot more for her to check out !. Understand of course I am not saying it’s right or condoning cheating I am giving you the why’s.
Weight issues with their wives can be more prevelant with Men, who are very visual. Again this could go for the wives also. Most people don’t like saying things regarding physical aspects of a person as to not sound superficial, but in marriage, this is still just as important as when you dated courted and pursued your spouse. It’s just that people go the extremes with everything instead of looking at things from a realistic viewpoint. I know for me I want to always stay my best for me my personal confidence and my most attractive for my wife, out of love and out of a great experience to her. So that goes back to having the right attitude, the point here folks is don’t let yourself go, try to maintain your health, weight and outer appearance because while your spouse may feel uncomfortable telling you, some will actually feel like their missing out on something and if there are other problems in the marriage this just gives them more ammo and can temp them to cheat if they see something that appears to be better, come along.
Lack of Affection
Lack of affection is usually a by-product of the lack of physical and emotional connection but if the spouse is never affectionate, to begin with, this could be one of the root causes of potential affairs happening due to the vulnerability, especially from an outsider who comes along and gives that affection !!
Spending quality time
Spouses can get very relaxed with this by putting other people activities and things before the needs of their spouse – Let me tell you if your spouse constantly sees you spending your time on everything and everyone else it is a recipe for disaster and they will be seeking that attention soon from elsewhere!
Of course your not responsible for your spouse cheating, but you are responsible for how you treat them and love them, and I can gurantee that unless they have some serious lust issues, if your doing what you suppose to do that loyalty should be there. The best defense for protecting your marriage from affairs is a solid offense! Do what your suppose to do as a loving spouse, take care of home, show that you care on a daily basis, put your spouse’s needs first, especially sexually, emotionally and physically. Have a prayer life, spiritual life, and convictions against committing adultery because it is very serious and can affect not only your spouse but your children and those around you.